


Itinerary (Unraveling)

by Raaj



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, advent children: final fantasy vii
Genre: Avalanche, Gen, Second person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-23
Updated: 2012-10-23
Packaged: 2017-11-16 22:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raaj/pseuds/Raaj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe you shouldn't be doing deliveries like this.  But considering you're failing everyone else, the least you can do is satisfy customers.  (Pre-Advent Children)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Itinerary (Unraveling)

Delivery to Junon.

Delivery to Kalm.

Return to Seventh Heaven.

Sleep. Wake up to a throbbing arm. You don't bruise easy, so how did that…?

Delivery to Cosmo Canyon. Wonder if Nanaki would be able to sniff out your worst fear.

Watch the bruising spread, dread confirmed.

Seventh Heaven. You’ve never been able to fake smiles, so all you can do is smother your feelings to let the children keep smiling a little longer. Denzel especially, since…the possibility of finding a cure now….

(You always let others down.)

Marlene is watching. By the end of the evening they all are. You claim a delivery and leave, because you can't fake smiles and you won't break theirs. Fenrir leads you to the church for the night.

Delivery to Wutai. Avert petty "prank" theft. Again. Jerk when Yuffie dances too close to your arm; retreat as she’s still laughing at the reaction. There are complaints on your voicemail later. You almost wish you'd heard them in person. …But just almost.

Sleep at the church again.

Delivery to Fort Condor. Purchase bandages on the way back. The shopkeeper's eyes are judging; they always have been since Denzel's arrival made these stops routine. Just now you can't stare him down. Now, you're buying for yourself.

Sleep. Home isn't even considered. Like you should darken their doorstep.

Delivery to Rocket Town. Avoid Cid and Shera. Can't hold it together when you feel your body breaking down. And even though your voicemail is filled with cussing a few hours later when Cid realizes the snub, it's an everyday question— _"Well fine, ya numskull. Everything alright?!"_ —that gets the message cut off early.

You can't handle the everyday anymore.

Never could, really.

Change bandages.

Sleep.

Delivery to Nibelheim. Suppress latent pyromaniac tendencies. (Again, Cloud?) There's been the wayward, hastily rejected thought before, but now it seems like poetic justice; even as you leave you’re not convinced the whole pack of lies shouldn’t burn. If any place in Gaia holds the Planet back from healing, it’s this nightmare that won't wake itself up.

(And this time you have nothing to lose— _shut up!_ )

Change bandages.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep.

The thoughts in between are a sure sign you're losing it, wavering between hopeless and hopelessly angry and it feels like "Cloud" is gone. But maybe he was never here to start with and the puppet just had a better second act—and once that thought digs in, you have to pick a fight with the giant snake at the edge of the marsh, Fenrir's engine revved in reckless taunt, just to get the memory of his laughter out of mind.

You're really starting to lose it.

(If you ever had it.)

( _For a little while I did._ )

Sleep.

Wake up to a ringing tone. Don’t answer, she’ll hear it in your voice. You'll scare her. Don’t let her know you’re losing the will to even get up, stop being so _weak_.

Letting the message play makes you cringe every time you hear her worry, and her worry shows through every word—but you hardly think of silencing her.

( _I still want to tell you everything will be okay…_ )

(Liar, liar. You liked building up her hopes, didn't you?)

Change bandages.

Delivery to Kalm. Sidetrack on the return trip to talk to his sword. It’s pretty good company these days, but when wouldn’t Zack be? Just don’t tell him how messed up you've made everything, everyone knows that. Instead you tell him about fighting a Midgar Zolom for the hell of it and you're pretty sure if he could hear, he'd be shaking his head on the other side.

(Call yourself a living legacy?)

Delivery to Aerith. Seizure. Don’t drip black on the flowers, clod. Set the bouquet down. Don’t look at it; it's hers and her now (and you’re walking taint). “I’ll see you soon.”

You check your voicemail later with the strangest thought that you'll hear a response, but it's Tifa's voice that speaks, letting you know her and the kids are okay, bittersweet soothing.

You hope they'll keep being okay without you. You hope Aerith wants to see you. You hope—-but it's hard to believe anything now, so you just

Change bandages.

Finish up deliveries.

Sleep.

Wait to die.

**Author's Note:**

> It was a little experiment with 2nd POV, and also a play on an idea I've seen floated sometimes that part of the reason Cloud stayed away from Seventh Heaven was because he didn't trust himself during the episodes. Geostigma is said to affect the victim's mindset...


End file.
